Pictures, music, pictures

hello again.

Figured I'd send this one out separately as it's pretty simple.

We need any and all pictures that you'd like to be shown at the funeral to be sent to my email: jefflraymond@gmail.com. In addition, any songs that bring fond memories of Dad would also be appreciated.

Thank you,
Jeff

Praise

Good afternoon and Happy Sunday world,

We have booked funeral services for this upcoming Friday, August 5th at 1pm at the Poulsbo, Stone Chapel. We are confirming on Monday.

22272 Foss Road NE
Poulsbo, WA 98370
(360) 779-4474

here is the link for directions: http://www.lewischapel.com/_mgxroot/page_10795.php

We will be doing a reception after the funderal at Sherry's house. Pot Luck style. Our goal is to not be stressed so we are looking for anyone and everyone who would like to assist in the reception. Some ideas that we need help with are:
1. chairs outside
2. main courses
3. bbq
4. desserts
5. snacks
6. salads
7. trash duty
8. yard games for kids
9. setup
10. clean up, clean up, clean up

It's going to be a party, that's how Dad would have wanted it so come on over, and let's start making some great memories together!

The family is doing well locally and I wanted to pass that on to you all. Thank you for giving us space these last few days. We have needed it. I think Monday would be fine for calls to begin. The biggest thing we afraid of during calls, is having to repeat the same story over and over....so let me take this time to let you all know how it happened:

Friday night was a very tough one, as Dad was feeling quite a bit of pain and discomfort. Sherry called Hospice and they had her administer morphine. He quickly calmed and was out of pain. Sherry reported that Dad had been speaking in his sleep and when he awoke she asked him who he was talking to, he replied "everyone." I personally believe this is the point at which Dad had one foot in heaven and was being greeted and one foot on Earth. His earthly body was trying to hold on to him, but his spirit was very much at peace and was ready to be accepted at his reception in heaven. Later through the night Sherry reported that he kept lifting his hands to the sky, as a child would do for a father to pick them up, and then lowering them again. Sherry was up at 3am watching him and she called Shannon to assist to ensure he was comfortable. At 0840 AM Dad took his last breath and passed away in his sleep. It was 4 months to the day that he was diagnosed. His last words to Sherry were "I Love you"...

the day was filled with grieving, lots of crying, but also relief. None of us enjoyed seeing Dad suffer and all of us know where he is at. The evidence he left us only confirms that which we believe. Locally we celebrated his life with a great mexican dinner and a whole lot'a margarritas.

For some of us there was an even more special moment. I'm honored that he allowed me to be there but I also want to proclaim it to the world that this morning at 1204 AM Dustin Michael Noble, my brother, accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Loard and Savior. Having confessed his sins, realizing that he needs Jessus's help to change, and repenting from his ways, all in the presence of his wife and I. I am truly honored, and couldn't be more proud of him. In his own words "the evidence was just all around."

It was a great day to be a Raymond!

Love you all
In Christ,
Jeff

Passing

I'm sorry to announce that on 30 July 2011 Jim Raymond Passed away.

We were told only yesterday that the time was getting close, we just didn't know how close.

We ask that you be considerate of our time and realize that everyone will want to call the house right now or visit. We simply cant handle all of that right now. We just need some quite time as we make final preperations.

Thank you to everyone.

Dad is with Christ now and gets to begin the next part of his journey.

We will be making funeral service arrangements and will post them here. Please pass on to whomever you like.

Still and always In Christ,
Jeff

Home Coming

Good evening everyone,

Haven't been able to update the blog since last Friday, my apologies.

Dad came home on Sunday. We have Hospice setup in the house and they are totally awesome.

Have had some great visits lately and Dad is totally at peace.

We are still limiting the number of visitors coming at one time as it is simply too much for him to handle. That said, we want to ensure that anyone who wants to come by does. Please let Sherry or I know.

He's stable at the moment but coming out of the hospital he did drop quite a bit on the time left scale. I'd estimate his timeline is shorter than 5 months and this is supported by the view of the Hospice nurses as well.

I can't emphasize enough that if you need to say something or hear something from Dad that you make arrangements to do so now.

Thank you all for your posts, prayers, and love.

In Christ,
Jeff

This Cancer is a blessing

To date I've done a great job of letting you all know how much we hate this cancer. I have to apologize becuase it wasn't until Tuesday that I realized that this cancer is actually a blesssing.

Some of you may be saying "Jeff how can you even say that." Well let me tell you why.

Cheated:
First, when this began I felt cheated. There are so many things that I wanted to do with Dad...I'm sure many of you felt the same way and now I won't. But it wasn't until a mentor helped me understand that seldom, very very seldom, do people ever get a chance like this. To hear Dad realize his situation and then pass on his guidance, his final lessons, his memories, to hand over the torch, and to be able to be witness to all of this is nothing short of a once in a lifetime opportunity. Many deaths occur quickly, suddenly, with no chance to do these things. Now think about this...since Dad has had cancer, how many good thoughts have you had of him...how many instances have you remembered that special time, how many times have tears of joy come to your eyes as you remember those times, and then have them turn to tears of grief. Wow! what emotions, what an experience. So I'm missing out on what "I" wanted, what "I" expected, and what "I" thought "I" needed, but have now realized that God knew better and instead of giving me what "I" wanted, he has given me what "he" wanted and what "he knew" I needed. Simply Amazing...Cheated you say...no...not cheated...blessed!

Our Faith
I've been able to witness something great in Dad and that is the growth of his faith in Jesus and his understanding of where he is going. To see him change from questioning if he's going there to knowing he's going there...to have him ask me the questions about what the bible says about death, to see his soul start to be joyful about the next step. I read a book given to me that had a fantastic metaphor for this...imagine you are back in the days of the American Colonies. On one side of the ocean in England there's a group of family members who are saying goodbye to a person. As they say goodbye they cry, the are sad to see them go, as the ship sails away towards the horizon the cry out for them to come back, only to realize they don't have the ability to stop the ship once it as left port. They realize quitely that they have said goodbye for the last time and then the ship is over the horizon and the person they loved is gone, out of their sight. But there's another group of people that the other family members will never see...it's the American Colonies, excited, rejoicing to see that ship coming over the horizon. They have been waiting patientl to see it coming. Years they have waited. And then one day, they see the tip of the mast, the watchmen calls out and lets the town know that the ship is in site. The town gathers as the ship gets closer. The docks are overwhelmed with people excited to see who is on board. The town is a buzz as they prepare a feast to celebrate the new comers arrival. The ship docks and the passengers grief of missing their family back home is replaced by the excitement of what lies ahead. Of seeing the new faces, of seeing the old faces of those that have arrived earlier then they. What an experience we are witnessing folks...and this, this metaphor is what our faith in Christ is all about. I have no doubt that God is in heaven right now crying, scratch that, he's not in heaven, he's in the hospital room as I witness Dad falling asleep to a harp player, he's here, crying, loving, watching over him, ensuring that Dad has everything he needs to be taken care of as he's shown his way to his ship. Amazing...freakin awesome! Our faith is awesome and you can feel it...tangibly, like a pulse going through your body. Amazing

Dad's baptism and then cancer:
it wasn't until yesterday that I realized that Dads cancer began almost immediately after he was baptized (if you do the math). Pretty interesting if you think about it. The words of Paul came to my mind when I realized that Dad has run his race. He has completed all the things that he needed to complete and for that God has awarded him with a beautiful trip to Heaven. The Highway to Heaven you might say. I can see God telling Dad...Jim, you've done great all of your life, you are amazing, I was just waiting for you to come back to me so that I could bring you home. And now, now that you finally allowed me to come into your life, I'm overwhelmed with happiness and I want to give you a gift...I want to have you come home early. Some might think that being a Christian is easy, and that this kind of stuff isn't supposed to happen to us. Dad knew the risk (i know he did because I told him that the reason I believe Jesus is he right way is because becoming a believer doesn't make your life easier, it makes it better, it's a hard road. I also told him that you can expect to be attacked by the enemy as soon as you accept Christ as your savior) and he still decided to accept Christ. In Dad's own words "I couldn't imagine doing this without Christ here with me." Amazing!

the way that this will happen will let him pass away in his sleep:
the nurses for hospice have helped many, many people go through this situation and they have it down to almost a science. they described to us the methods by which Dad's passing will occur and quite simply Dad is going to get something that many of us have hoped for...to die in our sleep. Dad's body will slowly start to shut down as the cancer takes over. he'll get more and more tired, until he eventually sleeps most of the day. the drugs provided through Hospice will ensure that dad is in no pain. with Hospice in the house we are provided professionals who will ensure that when Dad does pass that all of his family is there to be with him. So honestly, who wouldn't want to pass away in your sleep, surrounded by the ones you love. Awesome!

He'll be able to say goodbye and we'll all be able to say goodbye:
Now don't get me wrong, that's going to be really hard for us who are left behind to deal with, but how awesome is it that we get to talk to him all the way through, to hear from him, to get it all out, and to see him go and be completely at peace with him. I encourage you all to do this, to talk to him about the things left "unspoken." Now is the time. This is truly a once in a life time event for many of us.

This was on my heart today as I came into the hospital and I felt compelled to share it with the world. I no longer view this as a bad thing, instead, we (the Raymond's) are dedicated to making this one of our lives most beautiful, emotional, life changing experiences that any of us has ever felt, or seen, or heard of. Our faith in Christ is what allows us to see this, to do this, to deal with this. I hope you hear his words coming through to you as I have, becuase I am filled with hope now and that is truly, truly amazing.

Yours in Christ,
Jeff

A word from Dad

I'm sitting here with Dad and he has asked me to dictate the following message for all of you:

-----message begins-----

I want to let you know that I have entered the hospital due to the following reasons previously
I want to thank everyone at Harrison for getting me back on my feet and taking such great care of me!

I'm pretty much looking forward to going home, and with the help of the Fransican group hope to make that a smooth and comfortable transition.

I like to thank everyone who has stopped by or has sent cards/notes/etc during my stay and throughout this entire journey.

for those that may read this someday...I want you to know that when something like this occurs you really need to trust in your heart and in your faith to lead you in the right direction. 

God bless you all for your continued support!
In Christ,
Jim

Hospice Scheduled to Begin

The time has come for us to start Hospice (not becuase the end is tomorrow but because we want Dad to enjoy every day from here on out to the best of his ability and we need help to do that).

Everyone that has mentored us has told us this is truly a God send type of service and the people in Hospice are freakin awesome! So, Tuesday we met with the pallative care doctor and as of today the order has been issued for Dad to enter home based hospice when he leaves the hospital (scheduled for Sunday, Hospice to begin on Monday).

Hospice will be provided by the Fransican Hospice Group based out of Tacoma, you can read more about this type of care and the provider by following this link:
http://www.fhshealth.org/Services.aspx?id=82&menu_id=10&submenu_id=56

We are so very excited to have Hospice in the home! It provides:
1. A Registered Nurse who visits up to three times a week
2. A dedicated social worker who helps the care givers and family by setting up counseling, training, home care support (people who come take care of Dad when we are out), and other compassion based services
3. A 24/7 phone support group to call and ask questions or get medical info from.
4. Volunteers who come help around the house
5. Transfusions, Medical Equipment, showers, etc, etc

Basically Dad is going to get spoiled rotten, Sherry will be able to spend less time worrying and more time enjoying, and family and friends can rest assured that he's surrounded by people who care and a group of professionals dedicated to his well being spritually, emotionaly, physically, and mentally.

Of course this does mean that the journey towards the end of Dad's life has truly begun. we are blessed to have such experienced professionals that we have basically been given a road map to the end. It is a truly awesome thing to see such high levels of human compassion shown during this time.

Priority # 4 removed

We met with the Pallative care Doctor on Tues and had a fantastic 2 hr conversation regarding the next steps in Dad's journey. She listend very attentively and showed more compassion that I even knew was possible in a human being! These folks are truly angels...Pallative care/Hospice is the care given to terminal patients that increases their dignity, helps the family, provides the in house care, and support we need to give Dad the best days he can ever get...we are really blessed to have this team of folks working for us.

Anyway, point being, this is it for Dad's strength...unforunately his strength will never return and in fact will continue to decrease with every passing day. Our goal now isn't to get it back, it's to conserve what strength he does have to use at the proper time...aka efficently.

So what does this mean for everyone:
1. no large groups of people at the house at any one time (please cooridnate with either Sherry or myself to ensure that this doesn't occur.
2. when you do visit, this is your time to offer the help and assistance that we all want to provide. Offering to get things and encourage him to just enjoy your company is something that Dad is being coached in by the physical therapist and nurses.
3. He'll start to get more and more sleepy and the times between rests (being awake) shorter and shorter. You may come to visit and he'll be sleeping, plan accordingly and please don't get upset. we are on his schedule now...so again please plan accordingly

Not fun to talk about, not fun to say, but needs to be said kind of stuff. I know everyone reading this message totally understands but I guess I just needed to put it out there.

Our Priorities are:
1. Brain MRI
2. Deal with the severe constipation
3. Deal with and solve his lack of appetite
4. Deal with his strength
5. Determine where all the blood he is getting has gone

Priority #3 solved

Well, Dad has been presribed Dexamethason which is pretty much the "wonder drug" if you ask Dad. it's a steriod and while it does have some pretty hefty side effects....well, those don't really matter to Dad any more...so bring it on baby! He's walking on cloud nine and feels really good. the "dex" as we call it gives him a euphoric feeling as well as an appetite.

combine the Dex with Marinol (aka Marijuana in pill form) he is finally getting an appetite. This is our metric for success on this priority. Combined these two drugs with the treatment for the constipation and Dad is eating very well again and that is helping quite a bit. He's talking more and is more alert than he has been almost since this whole thing started back in March (March...wow, this has moved so quickly).

this morning Dad even ate some donuts and coffee with me and that was really cool. Of course I'll put on 10 lbs from it but he can eat as many as he wants

Our Priorities are:
1. Brain MRI
2. Deal with the severe constipation
3. Deal with and solve his lack of appetite
4. Deal with his strength
5. Determine where all the blood he is getting has gone

Priority #2 Solved

well, it's the dirtiest one of them all and I'm happy to report that Dad's Constipation is now "resolved"...think BOOOOOMMMMMM LOL

really had a "fun" night the other day and is now able to eat without that feeling of being full all the time.

Really great to hear and we are continuing to work on finding a combination of treatments for his bowls that will continue as we go home and ensure this doesn't occur again. Part of this hospital stay will be to figure this all out.

Our Priorities are:
1. Brain MRI
2. Deal with the severe constipation
3. Deal with and solve his lack of appetite
4. Deal with his strength
5. Determine where all the blood he is getting has gone

Answer to Priority #1

The Brain MRI was completed on Wed and the results are back....the Brain is clear of all cancer! This is good news and means the Nausea Dad feels is not due to brain metastatsis.

We also had a spine MRI done and it shows no transfer of cancer into his spinal fluid which is also great news.

Our Priorities are:
1. Brain MRI
2. Deal with the severe constipation
3. Deal with and solve his lack of appetite
4. Deal with his strength
5. Determine where all the blood he is getting has gone

Answer to priority #5

Today we met with Dr. Murphy at 0730 and discussed the days plans. He will get enemas today, two MRI's (brain and lower back) and they found out why his blood is MIA.

So remember what I posted just earlier this morning regarding our five priorities. Number five was to find out why all the blood he was getting was going through him so quickly. Through a series of blood tests they found that Dad is suffering from (due to cancer) hemolytic Anemia...see this link for more info: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001597/

What that means in my simple guy terms is that his body is pulling apart his red blood cells. So they should normally last up to 120 days but now they won't last nearly as long (more tests will figure out full extent).

This IS treatable. Using steroids he the effects will be tempered and thru infusions he will have more energy. We knew last night that he'd need to get infusions through the end, now we know why...nice!

Answers are coming

Thank you Jesus,

Jeff

Bad News

good morning world,

yesterday was a very tough day for us so it's time for another blog entry. Sorry for such a long delay in postings but I wanted to let you know that the reason for that is that we were pretty much doing fine until about a week ago.

Bottom Line Up Front: We have received comparison PET results from Dad's original PET scan to one done after chemo series 1 completed and have found that not only was the chemo not effective but the cancer in his bones has spread further into his spine and is now moving into a rib.

How did we get here: about two weeks ago we got the new PET scan and decided to put chemo on hold until we knew if it was working or not. Dad's condition has steadily deteriorated since that time. His pain level has increased and as of yesterday morning he was at an 8 out of 10 (10 being the pain he felt when he first went in back in March). In asking Dad what he felt was going on before we got the PET scan results he felt that the cancer was spreading as well. No totally huge surprise there. His appetite is gone and we are only able to get him to drink two ensures a day and about three glasses of water (totally inadequate, but all we can muster). He is severely constipated due to the opiate drugs that he is on and potentially some other chemo/radiation related issues. He was also very anemic.

Where are we at now: Dad has lost another 10 lbs in two weeks and can no longer get out of bed or his chair without help. We decided to go into the ER yesterday morning to address the severe dehydration, anemia, constipation, pain, and to get a new brain MRI. Why the new MRI? because he has started to get nausea 5 weeks after chemo has completed and the oncologist is worried that, even though the previous scan was negative, that the cancer may have finally moved into the brain (this, by the way, is a very common place for lung cancer to go). I've already broadcasted the really bad news up top but this piece of info is critical in determining the timeline of how much time does he really have left and what do we need to watch for. Dad was in ER for most of yesterday and was admitted to Harrison Oncology Ward (2 West) around 6pm and will be there for quite a few days.

Treatment plan: First, we have a new oncologist, Dr. Ann Murphy, who is based out of Poulsbo (almost right down the road from Dad's house), you can read more about her by following this link: http://www.harrisonmedical.org/home/doctor/ann-e-murphy. Let me tell you, she is totally a breath of fresh air and has really helped us to understand where we are at in the journey. Chemo is on hold indefinitely as Dad will be undergoing a strong series of tests starting this morning and lasting a couple of days while in the hospital. The idea isn't to track down where the cancer is, but instead, to find out what is causing the pain he is in so that we can attack that, if this were football it would be the equivalent of shifting from offense to defense. What we are trying to defend is his quality of life for the time remaining. Brain MRI, lower back MRI, urine tests, blood cultures, etc, etc...he'll be getting the works.

Our priorities right now for Dad's QL (quality of life) are:
1. Brain MRI
2. Deal with the severe constipation
3. Deal with and solve his lack of appetite
4. Deal with his strength
5. Determine where all the blood he is getting has gone

Items 1-4 will be figured out in the days to come. Item 5 was partially answered yesterday when we met with Dr. Murphy. Dad has "more than likely" become permanently anemic and will require transfusions for the rest of his life. This condition is due to the amount of radiation that he required in order to reduce his pain level in the lower back and pelvis regions. Since so much bone surface area was radiated, and since once bone has been radiated (in doses that Dad required) it no longer produces blood correctly this condition has resulted.

When items 1 thru 4 on the QL list are addressed Dad will come home. Most likely we will find out that the cancer has spread (1), that he will need medication for his constipation (2), that he will need medication for his appetite (3), and that his strength will return to some "better than now" level but will only last a short while (4) due to the spread of the cancer.



How much time do "I" have: For those of you who do not live in the local area i believe you will have approximately two to three more trips possible to visit and say your goodbyes :-( We can't handle any visitors this weekend, but starting next week I'd ask that you coordinate with Sherry or Myself to ensure that we can make the visits work and that you can have quality time. Once Hospice has been brought in they will be here to the end and are a critical part of knowing how much time we really have left (it's what they do). They will ensure that no family member will be absent for the end and Sherry and I will pass on all information asap as we have done in the past and continue to do today...you will all be kept in the loop.

My cell phone is 360-304-3055, you may call at any time. If I do not answer please leave a voice  message. my email is jefflraymond@gmail.com.

Finally: God has been so good to us through this entire experience, our family and friends have gotten closer. Stories of love and happiness abound. All of our prayers have been answered except the healing and this is obviously not Gods will. You all are answered prayers in Dad's life!

Take care, and until next time,
In Christ,
Jeff

How can i help: letters, emails, communications, stories, phone call, memories, etc. These are the things that Dad would like to hear and that help him cheer up. They are warm! and he needs that. Doesn't mean there won't be some tears, but that's what he needs. My suggestion is no cards, but instead if you can't make it here, write down your thoughts so he can read them.  for those that like to cook a word of warning: his taste buds are shot, even his most favorite of dishes now taste like "old sandpaper." So if you do cook, which he will appreciate, please don't be surprised or offended if he doesn't like it. We have to keep looking for new ways of putting flavors together to help him eat so it's no small challenge. I"d suggest smaller size dishes, but multiple dishes to allow him variety. But even with all of that he still may not like it.